#augh i havent cried this much in like ever

[kindred-spirit-93]

i have lectures in an hour and exams in 2 weeks. how am i supposed to be normal?

turns out i have a life outside of epic. like ok? what do u want me to do exactly??

[partyexe]

HEYY I JUST WATCHED THE EPISODE THAT YOUR JAME THINGY IS FROM HEJDHD, its one of my favourites!! how about you whats your favourite episode(s) (im assuming you've watched them all? i havent if you haven't either so dont worry)

oh yes i have!!! im a bit rusty bc the last time i watched an ep was around this time last year but again the whole series is kind of ingrained into my head so

ok heres the list

1. classroom (s2e22)

i just love this one so much because it reminds me of an experience i’d have in elementary. the plot is that a test is supposed to take a place but there are technical difficulties that melanie and jim spend the whole episode fussing over, meanwhile there are a bunch of seperate plots going on inside the classroom between the kids and their little antics they’re going through despite being ordered to sit still until everything is sorted out, which of course they don’t do. in the end melanie is just like oh whatever lets just take the day off. and she joins in hanging out with the kids

2. belsons backpack (s2e36)

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDHDHHDEHRHDHDSJDJDDDUDIDKDKKDK. THIS ONE IS SOOOO. Ok SO what happens is belson and clarence accidentally switch bags and clarence finds this comic belsons been making out of pages of some sort of zoology book about dolphins, with the main protagonist named bodhi. of course clarence confronts belson about it and he’s like Omg i didnt know you liked comics!!! I love this so much you should make more!!! with his gay ass and belson of course denies any connection. but instead of it ending there, he keeps making them and secretly giving them to clarence. i dont remember exactly what happens to initiate the next events but it ends in clarence coming to belsons house and helping him through writers block and spoilers belson literally cries. over how sweet clarence is. head in hands

3. lil buddy (s1e41)

loooots of people don’t like this one at all but it’s so special to me. they dont like it because it’s “ugly and creepy” but like honestly? as an autistic it resonates with me so much with how i used to feel as a kid if something i liked / relied on was taken away from me. i used to have a ton of meltdowns and panic attacks over the smallest things so seeing clarence go through the same thing in this episode. AUGH just ive cried several times watching this ep its so touching and its so sweet at the end. Please Watch It !!!! im not even describing what actually happens throughout it bc i want anyone who hasn’t seen it to watch it as spoiler free as possible (you might remember seeing those memes about clarence shaving his head and wearing a black hoodie, this is what that’s from)

4. rise and shine (s1e12)

another one that i like just bc its so cozy. the whole premise is clarence wakes up early like at 4 or 5 am i think, and we see his whole little morning routine that involves trashing the house and then cleaning it up again all before mary and chad wake up. it does have a plot like with this mountain lion that made its way into his backyard but i dont care that much abt that part tbh. again it’s mostly the feeling of the episode

5. the entire stormy sleepover saga (s3e5-10)

not even gonna say anything about this one for two reasons. one is spoilers and two is because id be here until 11 am (it is 5 am) if i did so. just know it is the best thing to come out of the whole series Ever and it is the closest thing to clarence being serialised there is.

6. balance (s1e50)

speaking of serialised stuff in this show!!! this one comes directly after the episode “in dreams” where jeremy, a kid clarence meets in his dreams and does everything he can to make clarence stay asleep and play with him, makes his debut. ok i know based off that description jimmy sounds like some kinda villain but he’s sweet and just wants a friend ok. there is not a single Bad Guy in clarence and if you disagree you are wrong. but yeah the episode balance is where balance, who i kid you not looks like a clarence x belson fan kid, shows up first. basically throughout the episode he causes a bunch of problems for clarence and belson but appears as a goody two shoes to the rest of the school, at the end even hypnotising the staff momentarily, before he gets sprayed with a hose and gets thrown back into his little clown car with similar versions of jeff, sumo and belson in there with him. just a really bizarre episode that has some cool lore stuff

and finally number 7 is video store (s3e35)

this one is so good its crazy. it has no direction or planned plot, it is literally just the voice actors messing around in the studio acting as the main three in a video store, trying to find the perfect movie to watch that they can all agree on and have never seen, while making the store clerk’s life hell. it is definitely one of the funniest episodes i can tell you that confidently

[saltlickmp3]

Also I never told you about how hadestown was and it was so good omg................. I almost cried at the end but it was still so fun & I loved how they portrayed the gods involved...... I love Hermes so much I would do anything for him the actress who was portraying him was so good ghghghgfgfhfhggafzgfggags I always love interpretations of Hermes he's so fun. Trickster gods my beloved forever and ever and ever,,,,,. Also Orpheus had an IMRPESSIVELY high voice. Like sir you're reaching ultrasound. I think his voice was even higher than the official Broadway cast recording like it was impressive. Also the guy who played hades did such a good job, he was the polar opposite of Orpheus, I didn't know voices could get that deep. It was sooooooooo good

ough niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i havent seen hadestown but i think its one of the few musicals i could actually get Invested in you know.. orpheus and eurydice myth augh ough ausahg( -1hp -1hp -1hp) and YEAGJH PEOPLE WITH REALLY LOW VOICES ARE SO IMPRESSIVE AUGHH anyways THATS SO COOLLLLLLLLLL happy you had fun!!! :D

[doglusional]

augh.

ive kissed more girls than boys, ive fucked more boys than girls, ive had sex with everyone ive ever kissed but i havent kissed everyone ive had sex with. i ghosted every ex ive ever had because im afraid of confrontation and cant stand rejection. i cried in the shower for weeks because i was afraid i hurt my ex-boyfriend but refused to recognize that he hurt me too because i thought i deserved it. i moved into an identical apartment as he had and had a panic attack in the bathroom because i was afraid of him. the girl who assaulted me either doesn't fully understand what she did to me or doesnt care because she bragged about it months later. the girl im fucking currently has a chub fetish and i have an eating disorder. i am incapable of having healthy relationships because i get obsessed and then stop caring, or i stay obsessed so badly that it hurts both me and them. i feel destined to be alone to keep both myself and others safe. i cant handle too many friends at once because its too much work and i dont make new friends until ive lost a previous one. i dont consider someone my friend unless we're close, casual friendships arent something i recognize as friendship, its just tolerance. i say i want more friends in theory, but in practice i hate new people. i want to ditch the newest friend i have because she's too much work to talk to, but that would be rude so i exhaust myself to keep up with her. im afraid that if i keep doing so ill just end up completely faking the friendship and using her for sex without actually caring about her. which is also rude. i want to kill myself but i want to stay alive long enough to live with my best friend. i want it all to end because its way too hard to live like this.

i dont know whats wrong with me.